My Sanctuary In This World

i’m in the desert
i haven’t seen you 
for months
perhaps years
or centuries

what is time
but a potent trick
of perception
an illusion so great
we hoard it
in our bodies
as memories
and aging

trapped in time
and in body
i haven’t seen you
for a long
long time

i want 
you to know
more than 
anyone else
how much 
i’ve suffered
in this time
in the desert

crushed and broken
in excruciating pain
everyday i had to battle
an army
of devious
seductive monsters
of wrathful, vengeful
of those who wanted
nothing but darkness
punishment and pain

i was so terrorized
at times,
at other times
so exhausted
i wanted
never to wake up
to days 
that were darker
than nights

at least at night
sleep was some respite

the days were long
and i was their captive
imprisoned, bound
unable to move
to any other
inner or outer ground
face to face with 
the never-ending demons
of an inner world

one day i would vanquish
a fiend
the next day it would
mocking me
as if to say
you thought you had conquered me
but look
here i am again

and as i burnt him
into the light
one more time
he would whisper
with confident derision
i’ll see you again

this went on for
so many days
i forgot if there had
been another time
another place
another me
another life

i forgot hope
and my most fervent prayer
i forgot how to sing
and how to savour

and i wanted nothing
neither life nor death

until one day
the words exact
of my most ardent prayer
were echoed back
to me

and i prayed
and i prayed

with every painful move
and every fearful step

i prayed
most fervently

and the pain
and the shadowy army
of monsters
and fiends

started to melt
and retreat

and then i heard
news of your coming

and it was the coming
of a new army 
an army of thick 
monsoon clouds

and suddenly 
i realized
it’s been so long
since we met

reminders of you
had flown past my
parched lips
and burning eyes
like dry twigs
in the desert sand

but now 
i sit under the shade 
of the promise
of rain
of life renewed
in this desert

of the promise 
of your presence
and your voice
and your eyes

and that which
you are
which cannot be 
seen or heard
or named

and as i wait
for your arrival
i remember
all the pain
i could share
with no one else
but you

and as i wait
for your arrival
all that pain
gets washed away
and soothed

just because i know
soon you’ll be here

and your kindness 
has been
for as long as i’ve known

my sanctuary
in this world

28th august 2015

dedicated to my beloved Shaykh Ebrhaim Etsko Schuitema

from the upcoming book: "The Truth Is Love"

image: with thanks via Iraj Jahanshahi on facebook

for a copy of "Set My Heart On Fire" in pakistan nalayn publications

in South Africa intent publishing
and internationally via amazon

Free pdf book by author


Popular Posts